The Bachelor’s Guide To Setting Up His Place

Notice I have purposefully avoided the term “bachelor pad” here. That’s for good reason. That expression conjures up immediate visions of complete, utter cheesiness. And if you expect to invite women over at any point (which I trust is a given) the last thing you want your place to be as a single man is cheesy.

OK, maybe that’s second-from-last. The very last thing you want your place to be is dirty. And you can take that anyway you’d like, because no matter what you are thinking you are understanding me perfectly.

Interestingly, I’ve had numerous guys (and some women) ask me how to get the topic of this section right. Here’s the thing: EVERYONE has his or her unique set of circumstances. Some have lots of money, some have hardly anything extra to spend. Some live in the city, and some live in small towns. Some live where you have satellite TV, and others don’t. With all of that in mind, I’m going to approach this from the mindset of an average guy with average income who lives in a suburban setting. You are welcome to take what you can use and leave the rest on the shelf, although the more philosophic bits are probably universally applicable flatware set B07P8VG47C.

So let’s take this by room, shall we? I’ll weave in the more general principles along the way.

1) Door/Entry

Make sure the front light works and there are no spiders living in the corner outside. Have a mat to wipe feet on and a rack inside the doorway for coats/umbrellas if you don’t have a closet by the door. This is really important to making her feel comfortable immediately-and we all know by now this is job one.

2) Bathrooms

For most of your house or apartment, keeping things straightened-up as opposed to Felix Unger pristine is the key. I’ve actually heard from some women that a surrealistically clean place creeps them out. They recognize “It just ain’t natural”, as we say here in Texas. So clearing out the clutter is the key. That may get us off the hook for dusting the floorboards, but the absolute exception to that guideline is the bathroom. CLEAN THE TOILETS. Clean AROUND the toilets. In fact, clean the whole room, including the tub/shower and the sink. Use the “Clean Shower” stuff or equivalent every time you shower and you’ll save yourself major trouble later. Clean the spots off the mirror. Finally, as my good (and female) friend Amy Waterman pointed out once in an interview, get everything out of your medicine cabinet that you don’t want discovered. According to her, most women consider it their birthright to spy on your medicine cabinet. Sure you have condoms, but put them somewhere more discreet por favor. That goes double for the recreational Cialis.